Outskirts Press Book Publishing Presents Why I Buy Real Estate Instead of Golfing

Why I Buy Real Estate Instead of Golfing
by Len DeWeerdt

Print on Demand Publisher A memoir of what Not to Do in real estate
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5 x 8 Paperback cream
ISBN: 9781432744373
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Book Information
Genre:
BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Real Estate
Publication:
Oct 29, 2009
Pages:
224
 
Books by Len DeWeerdt

This humorous memoir of what “not to do”, in buying,owning and selling residential and commercial real estate provides some valuable lessons and tips that only the school of hard knocks can provide.

A sure fire “must read”, if you like to smile and want to avoid a disaster in your next real estate deal.

 
Upstairs - The Stairway to Heaven (or Hell)

The apartment upstairs was technically rented to a young woman in her late twenties; technically is the key modifier. As this was in the early 1970's, the hippy look, incense, tie-die and all that crap was par for the course with any number of twenty something people, including me. I might have been suspicious by the tortured look in her eyes and the occasional, deer in the headlights glance at some unknown location just out of my view, but I wasn't. After all, I was a landlord, a man of property.

The rent was subsidized by NY social services and, as I came to know, subject to many, many regulations. The very first thing that I can remember about the purchase was that a social worker was coming to inspect the downstairs. Within minutes of the visit, I had acquired a list that included replacing (2) windows, a door lock, and a half dozen other checklist items, all on a very officious looking form. If I remember right, there were accompanying words from the aforementioned social worker to the affect of, "no completed list of fixes, no dough!"

Footnote on the second Lesson: Cautiously buy property from family, it is still business.

Shortly after the completed work, I returned with an inspector to review the compliance. I had worked diligently to do all the right things, not wanting to offend the state. The inspection went smoothly and I looked forward to the first rent check. So I returned on the first of the following month to collect. I was greeted by the young woman, our tenant, with an over friendly "come-in". Being charmed by this, I went in gratefully. In casual conversation she mentioned that there was still a problem with the second bedroom window.

On arrival to the room, I was greeted by the pungent aroma of pot, smoked sometime over the last few hours. This did not bother me but the fact it was seemingly emanating from the closet, wherein was sitting a long haired, lanky, no, I mean skinny, guy in his early thirties. His well-worn t-shirt and torn jeans, suited his lotus position, which was squarely in the center of the closet, fortunately this was a large closet, making the hanging shirts on either side of him give the appearance of a confessional. I said "hi" to which he showed no inclination to answer. He appeared to be in a state of meditation or a state similar to that. I think that he may have grunted but clearly he was into staring at the closet wall with a stillness that under most conditions would have caused me to call the police to report a dead body in a closet. I made the further mistake of asking previously overfriendly, now looking somewhat retracted tenant who the guy was, fully expecting an answer like "he's my ex-boyfriend" or "my room-mate" but no, this was not correct. "He's my brother. He likes to stay in the closet. He's no trouble, really. I won't have to pay extra will I? He told me that we'll split the rent". And followed by "blah, blah, blah". I then made record time getting to the rent check, making small talk, excuses about leaving my wife somewhere at a store and finally, an exit, all in about one minute flat.



Chapter 8 " Was That You??"?

OK. We've all said something like that to a loved one or had it said to us. Smells, especially bad ones can ruin a moment, a meal, and generally leave us running in a direction away from the offending odor. The truth is that environmental issues can really be disruptive to quality of life. Our (5) senses, six if your into ghosts, can create wonderful and awful experiences for humans.

The house with the yard also came with some environmental issues; in this case, odor. The term used in business today, "environmental scan", is not a bad idea for house hunting. In the case of this house, situated in a neighborhood I knew (but never lived in before), was a food processing plant. One that had been there for many years but which I really had not spent a lot of time around. While a quarter mile should be a safe distance for most sounds and sights, smells have a way of traveling that is, well, less than pleasant.

It seems that the seasonal processing of beets, cabbage, and other vegetables that I enjoy, require things to be done which are not associated with the great tastes that we enjoy as customers. And so, from August to November, we enjoyed the frequent and unexpected, aromatic delights of the nearby plant, causing us, our two kids, and all our neighbors great regret upon opening the doors or windows. Admittedly, it was bearable compared to a rendering plant, but pretty unpleasant. (For those of you unfamiliar with rendering plants, that is where all parts not used at the meat processing plant go to become useable, reincarnated as it were).

In a Buyer's market, smell, can be an issue always. But don't under rate the other senses. Here are just a few environmental issues that we experienced for you to think about:


Sight

- Headlights shining into your living room and bedroom, constantly.

- Highly unattractive neighboring homes with all the possibilities.

- Highly unattractive neighbors (that could be 6th sense spiritual too).

- Dead critters including road kill & lakeshore wash-up including a deer carcass, fish, etc.

- Autos that are attempting to avoid the junkyard.


Sound

- Screaming children in the yard adjacent.

- Screaming parents in the yard adjacent (go figure!)

- Road noises at all hours.

- Barking dogs.


Smell

- Plants and factories.

- Farms with livestock.

- Swamps and lakes turning over.

- Sewers and septic tanks.

- Food odors from barbeques (mostly good but not always).

- Gasoline and oil.

- Visiting neighborhood pets.


Touch

- Over-friendly neighbors (see spiritual comments)

- Over-friendly animals (see smell).

- Residues from nearby plant and factories.


Taste

See smells - its amazing what your nose can do for a meal.

- Snow - remember the neighborhood pets.

- Snow - remember the neighbors.


All these little treats are no doubt, the tip of the iceberg! I'm sure poling friends and relatives can cause some very informative stories to emerge. In any case, knowing about your environment, beyond seasonal changes, is pretty important.


About Len DeWeerdt

The author attributes the book's basis to growing up in the "trusting" 1950's in a small central NY village. Trust in real estate is an oxymoron and yet after some twelve transactions, the author is still buying. Despite that fact, Len has been happily married for 35 years, with three great kids and four fabulous grandchildren.

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